Audrey Horne's Practical Guide to Washington, DC
I should paywall this but I won't because I love you soooo much
The most common question I get from my followers is “How do I make friends?” which is a topic I hope to address in greater depth, but have already addressed here:
The second most common question I get from my followers is “How do I get a girlfriend?” to which I’m loath to respond (but might anyway if you beg hard enough), and the third most common question is “What is there to do in DC?” which is what I would like to focus on today.
DISCLAIMER: I am not from DC. I’ve only lived in the city proper for like two years. The following is just a list of what I like to do on the weekends or after work when I want to hang out with my friends. These are all places I’ve either been to more than once or places I’ve heard multiple friends praise. That’s why I’m calling it a practical guide. I will write an update to this in a year when I’ve learned even more.
Where to eat
2 Amys
I went here recently with friends after going to the National Cathedral and the pizza and vibes were incredible. I love a chic, cozy place with a tiny menu. Campari spritz was delightful, as was their smoked mozzarella and eggplant pizza. I haven’t been yet, but their sister restaurant ‘Bar del Monte’ in Mount Pleasant is said to be phenomenal as well.
$$. Cleveland Park.Albi
Middle Eastern food. Maybe the only reason to go to Navy Yard. I went here for my 27th birthday and enjoyed the best tasting menu I’ve had in my life, and this guy I’m friends with called them in advance and sent a bottle of champagne to my table. Very memorable.
$$$ $. Navy Yard.A. Litteri
Wonderful hidden gem in the Union Market neighborhood. It’s an old Italian grocery store with wine and pasta and tomatoes, and a deli in the back where they make the best Italian sub sandwich you’ll ever try in your life.
$. Union Market.Big Bear Cafe
Extremely convivial and cozy two-story cafe and bar with a beautiful terrace. Reminds me of Seattle cafes more than any other place in this city. Great spot to catch up with a friend.
$. Capitol Hill.Butterworth’s
Full disclosure: This place isn’t open yet and a few of my friends are part-owners. But I would trust any of them with my life, or at least with cooking my dinner.
Capitol Hill.Cielo Rojo
A bit outside the city proper, but worth the little trip. Delicious modern Mexican food. Very good red pozole.
$$. Takoma Park.Comet Ping Pong
I have a soft spot for this place. One fateful night a year and a half ago I ended up here after a Politics & Prose reading and met three people who I now consider dear friends! It’s actually a good, reliable spot for a group pizza party. No sinister energy that I could pick up on.
$. Wakefield.Dolcezza
Gelato and coffee. Great after-date spot. Their berry flavors are always delicious.
$. Multiple locations.Don Juan Restaurant
Late night Central American food for when you’ve been out drinking in Mount Pleasant. Hits the spot.
$. Mount Pleasant.El Presidente
Another smooth-brained spot, masterfully executed by Stephen Starr (See: Pastis, St. Anselm). He gets it done. The bar area is really fun and colorful. I loveee their aguachile verde.
$$$. Union Market.Filomena Ristorante
Another special occasion restaurant, but for a larger group, and maybe better for a sillier occasion. Old school red sauce Italian place, where you can watch them make-a-the-pasta from the street.
$$$. Georgetown.The Green Zone
Amazing, stylish Middle Eastern place. I love it. I went with Asherah the other day and they made me this incredible blood-red sour cherry gimlet, and a falafel sandwich, and labneh with za’atar fries. Just so good. Don’t miss.
$$. Adams Morgan.The Hamilton
Massive, late-night, multi-dining-room American bar and grill that I somehow always forget. My friend described it as an elevated Cheesecake-factory due to its enormous menu. Good place to post up with a group, especially if you can’t get into Old Ebbitt Grill. It is logistically a perfect spot, and there is often live music downstairs.
$$. Downtown.Izakaya Seki
Fantastic modern Japanese
$$$. U-Street Area.La Bonne Vache
Fantastic French bistro.
$$. Georgetown.Lutece
Frenchish. Really cozy. Wonderful bread. Wonderful tasting menu. I only go here on very special occasions.
$$$ $. Georgetown.Old Ebbitt Grill
An institution, and one of the only places in a central DC dead zone that stays open until 2am. The food is good, their matches are great, they are on top of the oyster game, it is more reasonably priced than you might expect, and they make an excellent martini.
$$. Downtown.Panda Gourmet
who religiously follows Tyler Cowen’s phenomenal Ethnic Dining Blog. I depend on Damir to introduce me to the authentic spots in the local NoVa and suburban Maryland strip malls.
A truly authentic Chinese place hidden away in what used to be the Days Inn on New York Ave. I went here with my friend
$$. Northeast.Pastis
My friends and I end up here minimum twice a week at this point. It’s getting ridiculous. My go-to order is a mini gin pickle martini and their macaroni au gratin. Pastis DC is perfect. They execute everything perfectly. It is better than Balthazar, better than Pastis New York, and one hundred times better than Le Diplomate, which you should never go to unless your life depends on it. My secret tip is that Pastis is very quiet on weekend mornings. A great place to catch up with friends over coffee and a breakfast steak.
$$$. Union Market.Pearl’s Bagels
This is my favorite bagel in DC. Cheerful millennial pink decor and a long but fast-moving line out the door on the weekends.
$. Mt. Vernon Square.Primrose
Sweet New American neighborhood restaurant. Good date spot.
$$$. Brookland.Rue Cafe
Cute neighborhood cafe with sandwiches and baked goods.
$. Petworth.Seylou Bakery
Wonderful whole-wheat baked goods.
$. Shaw.Sonny’s Pizza
Vibey but casual place with a patio and great pizza. Good natural wine selection. Check out the wine store next door, also.
$$. Columbia Heights.Un Je Ne Sais Quoi
Introduced to me by Damir as the most authentic bakery “where all the French people in DC go.” Sure enough I heard French while waiting in line, and split the most heavenly, perfectly caramelized cannelle with two of my friends. Can’t miss.
$. Dupont Circle.Yellow
Middle Eastern pita and coffee shop. I have to stop myself from coming here so much lest I become too accustomed to greatness. It’s by the same people who run Albi. Try the coconut cardamom iced coffee and their egg sandwich on their “urfa-thing” bagel.
$$. Union Market and Georgetown.
Where to drink
All Souls
Neighborhood cocktail bar. High quality but can get crowded on weekends.
$$. 14th Street-ish.Death ‘n Co
The classic. Dark. Mysterious. Good place for a date. Must make a reservation.
$$$. Shaw.Denson Liquor Bar
Dark, moody cocktail bar in Penn Quarter.
$$. Penn Quarter.The Dew Drop Inn
Best dive in DC.
$. Northeast.Haydees
Mexican restaurant that hosts Spanish-language karaoke and other live music events.
$. Adams Morgan.The Line
I love coming to this hotel bar on the weekends for coffee or a cocktail. Beautiful setting and a great place to read if you don’t mind being asked about the book you’re reading.
$$. Adams Morgan.Off the Record
I actually haven’t been here yet, but I want to go because of the name.
$$. Close to the White House.O.K.P.B.
Fun, creative speakeasy, very cozy.
$$. Mount Pleasant.Red Derby
All the cool people I know go here.
$. Petworth.Service Bar
Serviceable bar on U Street (which is a zoo). Known for their high-quality experimental cocktails.
$$. U Street.Silver Lyan
Sexiest cocktail bar in DC located under the Riggs hotel. Perfect date spot. Ideal, actually. Make a reservation though.
$$$. Penn Quarter.Top of the Gate
Seasonal bar on the roof of the Watergate hotel. Not far from the Kennedy Center if you want to make a night of it.
$$$. Foggy Bottom.
Where to dance or listen to music
DISCLAIMER: Several of you have asked me where to go ‘dancing’ but please keep in mind that I do not ‘go out’ or ‘go dancing’ almost ever and I only attend about 3-4 live shows a year. I prefer to sit and talk. My zoomer friends dragged me to the only club on this list one week ago, and I had a nice time, but I can confidently say it’s not the scene for me.
Songbyrd
I’ve had a great time going to indie dance nights here hosted by local DJ and oomfie My Friend Jack. Union Market.Showtime Lounge
I haven’t been here yet but it’s a small venue with a jukebox and a bar and I think they sometimes have DJs and dancing. Northeast.Black Cat
Indie/alt live music venue. 14th Street.9:30 Club (and associated venues)
I feel like they have a monopoly on almost all live music in DC. Shaw.Flash
Three story nightclub on U Street. I had a nice time here last week with a group of 25-year-olds. I wish they had played more club classics. U Street.Barcelona Wine Bar
I’ve written about it before. A disgusting, frenetic place where you can listen to 2019-era Drake, wear Aritzia pleather that sticks to your skin and get hit on by divorced divorce lawyers. Fantastic boquerones though. 14th Street.The Kennedy Center
Now we’re talking. Foggy Bottom.Blues Alley Club
Really old jazz club. It gets packed so make sure to get tickets in advance. Georgetown.The Embassies
I hear the embassies put on classical music concerts all the time, but I’ve yet to attend any of them. I would like to get plugged into the Embassy party scene. If you can help me achieve this, please reach out.The Museums
I’ve stumbled into chamber music concerts at the Phillips Collection twice without trying.
What to do
Favorite Museums
The National Gallery
A must. No need to do it all at once, though that’s not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon. It’s important to me to keep up with the rotating exhibits here, since I find people ask about them a lot in conversation. Free.National Museum of Women in the Arts
A great stop. Ticketed.The National Portrait Gallery
Always fun to pop in and find your favorite (or least favorite) president. I think Bill Clinton’s portrait is the funniest. Free.The Hirshhorn
One of my favorites, and there’s a Dolcezza on the ground floor. Free.The Rubell
Just like the one in Miami. Modern art. It’s weird and I really like it. Ticketed.The Phillips Collection
Probably the best bang for your buck of all the museums listed here (even the free ones). I go two or three times a year and always have a great time. Don’t miss the Rothko room. Ticketed.
Not Museums but Close Enough
Glenstone
Outdoor modern art museum outside of DC. Kind of hard to get to but worth it. Maryland. Free.Hillwood Estate
Up by Rock Creek Park. A beautiful old estate with gardens and art and relics from a hundred years ago or more. Northeast. Ticketed.The National Arboretum
It’s the National Arboretum. Gardens, eagles, columns. Northeast.The National Cathedral
Anglican (not Catholic, I found out this week). Stunningly beautiful. Keep an eye on their music schedule. Northwest.Rock Creek Park
Big park. A great place to go running, or so I’m told. Northwest.Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center or as I like to call it: The Dulles Air and Space Museum
If you have the time to drive out here and watch an IMAX movie and look at all the big military planes and missiles and spacecraft they have hanging up, it’s well worth it. Boys really love this place in my experience. I love it too though. Literally Dulles. Way out there.
Markets
Dupont Circle Farmer’s Market
Seasonal and extremely crowded, but fun. Dupont Circle.Eastern Market
Indoor and outdoor farmer’s and flea market. Capitol Hill.
Theaters
Alamo Drafthouse
You’ll take this from my cold dead hands. I love this place. Smooth brained slop. Mmmmm. Northeast.Angelika Film Center Pop-Up
Rudimentary theater set-up, but they screen a lot of old black and white movies, and it’s walking distance from Pastis. Union Market.Landmark E Street
Great theater screening a wide variety of movies. Penn Quarter.Suns Cinema
Another place I’ve never been, but only because tickets sell out so quickly. Indie theater and bar. Mount Pleasant.
Shopping
Miscellaneous stores and places that are nice to step into.
Clothes
Secondi
Designer consignment. Check out the yarn store next door. Dupont Circle.Libby and My
New vintage clothing store with knick-knacks too. Union Market.
Books
Kramer’s
My favorite DC bookstore and a great place to buy a book and have a coffee or grab a bite to eat. I love their cookie butter French Toast. Dupont Circle.Politics and Prose
Look for a real-life easter egg under James’s staff recommendation shelf at the Union Market location. Wakefield and Union Market.Capitol Hill Books
This one is sooo cute and cozy! Storybook bookstore. Ancient books piled on top of ancient books in a creaky old store. Capitol Hill.Lost City Books
Modern bookstore with a good selection. Adams Morgan.Bridge Street Books
Old and new books. Georgetown.Second Story Books
Old books all over. Rare books too. Dupont Circle.
Home
Goodwood
Used furniture and a perfume counter that carries the entire Parfums Lubin collection (including samples). 14th Street.Ginko Gardens
Delightful neighborhood garden store. Navy Yard.Miss Pixie’s
Recently changed locations. Great spot for used furniture and bits and bobs. Adams Morgan.
Other Cultural Events
Liberties Salon
Happening monthly. Find more information here.Readings
Happening monthly, and always looking for local writing talent (fiction, non-fiction and poetry!)Events
Sometimes they host live recordings. Subscribe to stay aware.The DC Underground
If you’re at least one of the three (civil, witty, or extremely well-dressed: all generally fulfilled by virtue of being my Twitter mutual), you might get invited to a private salon or a private reading or a reading group or a writing group or a book club or brunch with the girls or a Kierkegaardian e-boy party or even one of Twitter’s Audrey Horne’s famous pozole dinners. Play your cards right.
You know the list is legit when 2 Amy's is the first entry
Perfect guide!!!!
What about Jimmy Valentine’s?